I saw this post on Anniina's blog a while back and though it was a fun idea, so I too, went to check out my blog's keywords from Google Analytics and decided to share the funniest and weirdest ones from the past year with you!

I had keywords in both English and Finnish, so I decided to translate the ones that were in Finnish, to English (but the original keywords are still listed too!), so you would all be able to understand them. Here we go!

cupcake couture arrogant
(original: cupcake couture ylimielinen)
Cupcake Couture is the old name of this blog. But it seems like someone is desperately trying to find some evidence of me being a bitch, since this keyword pops up in the list every now and then.

goth blog
(original: gootti blogi)
Umm... Seems like the one searching with this keyword, got a bit lost. I guess my style and blog could be categorized as "alternative" and there might be some gothic elements to it, but I would never say I'm a goth. Well, I hope the person enjoyed my blog anyway!

clip-on extensions at a security check
(original: klipsipidennykset turvatarkastuksessa)
This one is also kind of common in my list. Well, I can tell from my experience that during the time I wore clips and had to go through the airport's security check, they never beeped nor I had to take them off. I guess that's what many people with clip-ons are wondering. Now you know!

long nails suomi24 sex & woman masturbates with nails
(original: pitkät kynnet suomi24 seksi & nainen runkkaa kynsillä)
I don't know why, but along these, a lot of sex/porn related keywords often appear on my list. Why?? Also many of the referring links to my blog are from quite suspicious (russian) sites, also which never actually have my blog linked anywhere (yes, I've checked a few). Does anyone else have this problem? Is it some kind of virus? I don't know about these things.
Anyway, if you're wondering the answer to the actual keywords, see this answer on my ask.fm account (warning: NSFW). Suomi24 is a finnish forum btw.


wire extensions surgery
(original: siimapidennys leikkaus)
"Leikkaus" can also be translated as "cut/cutting" but my first thought was surgery when I saw this. Sounds kinda brutal.

viivi vanessa virpi
Viivi is my first given name and Vanessa is the second one. Virpi, on the other hand, is a nickname given to me by my friends and it's actually a common old-woman-name in Finland. Which makes me wonder: why are some names considered as old-people names, when they've probably had those names as kids too.. hmm.
I find it kind of funny that someone actually bothered to google this, hahaha.

where is tuomas?
(original: missä tuomas on?)
Not sure which one of my friends you mean (or if this person was searching for either of them), but maybe you should ask from the person in question themself?

blak salvia/blac saliba/blacjsalivia
Spelling names wrong is something that pisses me off. A LOT. And I was hoping that the new blog name would be easier to write correctly, because people had a lot of problems getting "Cupcake Couture" right.
"Black Salvia" is probably the most common way to misspell the name. I would understand a typo but Salvia is a flower and Saliva means drool. It's a totally different thing guys!!
(not a keyword, but kinda related to this topic: I freaking hate it when people write my name as Vivii/Vivi/ViVii or other bullshit like that. Get it right please :D I get that double vowels might be hard for foreigners, but what makes you think the second part would be the long one, uguuu).

nail polish stand ikea
(original: kynsilakkateline ikea)
I know many people use Ikea's Helmer for nail polish storage and it's supposedly great, as the shelves are the right height for nail polish bottles. I on the other hand, have two acrylic wall racks that I got from cesars (they were just laying around, unused) but you can find those from eBay: here.


children's champagne
(original: lasten skumppa)
Planning on throwing a party for kids? Well, you might not find tips for those from this blog. The only possible explanation for this can be a super old post of mine, where I might have mentioned buying some kid's bubbly drink.

lies-love letters
(original: valehtelee-love letters)
"Valehtelee" can be translated as lies or lying. Anyway, sounds like someone is trying to dig up some love letter drama. How they ended up in my blog, I have no idea. I kinda wish someone would be old fashioned enough to write me a love letter (without lies, preferably).

hiding jug ears with a hair-do
(original: hörökorvat piiloon kampauksella)
Does this mean I have jug ears? :D I used to think so when I was younger and refused to ever wear my hair up, but nowadays I don't really care and I think my ears are normal. But well, having long hair and wearing it down is pretty much your only option if you hate your ears so much.

riotcolor's address
(original: riotcolorin osoite)
Oh no, looks like someone wants to know where Heikki lives. Which makes me recall a situation that happened a while back with Sini when she moved into a new apartment and someone had seen her and started sending her messages about "knowing where she lives" etc. That's just creepy and rude. If you happen to be neighbours with or know where a blogger/vlogger/musician/anyone you don't know personally lives, keep that information to yourself and most importantly, don't go telling that to the person in question. You'll just make them feel harrassed.

can you buy nail tips elsewhere than from online stores
(original: saako kynsitippejä ostettua muualta kuin nettikaupasta)
Yes, go check your local beauty supplier, they should have some basic ones.


japan bondage live
(original: japani sidonta live)
Umm.... I guess these words might have appeared separately in my blog, but never like this...

best lipstick for yellow teeth
(original: paras huulipuna keltasille hampaille)
Are my teeth so yellow that even Google thinks so?? :DD Anyway, I guess red and other darker shades work the best. Avoid nudes and other light colors.

black saliva nose job
(original: black saliva nenäleikkaus)
 Lol what is this? Is there many people wondering this, because also words "viivi vanessa nose job" and "nose job blog" appeared on the list... But no, I haven't had a nose job, I just like to do some contouring. Would you like a tutorial of it?

hairbrush that got stuck in hair
(original: hiuksiin kiinni jäänyt harja)
When something like this happens, do you go google for a solution? I probably wouldn't, unless I was super desperate. Besides, I don't think this has ever happened to me :'D

blacksaliva without make up 
I can't remember if I have posted makeup-less pics on this blog, but if you want to see me without it, check out these: 1, 2.
Also there were quite many searches for visual kei band members without makeup (for example: mejibray without make up, mejibray koichi no makeup, mejibray meto no makeup, kazuki royz without makeup). Why are people so interested in what somebody looks like without makeup? Try to appreciate the look they have chosen for themselves instead of judging the blank canvas :)


viivi name meaning
According to Wikipedia, it means "lively" and "lovely" and is a finnish version for Vivian. I actually just got to know this because I was curious and googled it :D I have the impression that finnish names usually don't have any meaning and if they do, they're not commonly known nor people really care for them or ask you what your name means. But when traveling abroad, this is kind of a common question I get from people. Well, I guess from now on I can actually tell a little about what it means :D

(jeffrey campbell) lita's for a 13 year old
(original: litat 13 vuotiaalle)
If you ask me, I wouldn't let a 13 year old wear 12cm heels. They would just look silly on someone so young.

long toe nails ew
(original: pitkät varpaankynnet hyi)
I agree with this one. Long nails on toes are horrible.

i'm a bald headed rat
(original: olen kulipäärotta)
Before you go all "wtf?", let me tell why I think this keyword has lead to my blog. You all know Moomins, right? The phrase "Olen kulipäärotta" is something Snork Maiden says, devastated, in the episode when a Hattifattener bumps into her and burns off her fringe. Which after Moomintroll comforts her and says "I've always fancied bald girls".
As Moomins are a big part of a finnish kid's childhood and a timeless classic (I've watched the series many times as an adult too), some of the phrases from the series get used as quotes in everyday life :D This one is probably one of the most popular ones and you can use it whenever you're having a bad hair day, hahah.
It is very possible I have used the phrase at some point of my blogging history.

pissis eyebrows
(original: pissis kulmakarvat)
I don't know how to translate "pissis" but it basicly means a girl who dresses kinda like the main characters of Mean Girls (well, not exaclty, check this google search to get better idea). They usually have bad makeup and bad eyebrows. How has this person ended up in my blog, is a mystery.... I think my eyebrows.. look... pretty good?


kerava style
What exactly is "Kerava style", I don't know, but my pictures apparently show up when you search for it, because I once had a photoshoot at Kerava. Kerava is a city close to Helsinki.

nail cancer
(original: kynsisyöpä)
Oh my god, does something like this actually exist? Sounds like something from my worst nightmares.

what to do when u meet your first date
Well, try getting to know each other better? Go eat, have drinks, whatever, but I think chatting with eachother is the most important thing and that's why I wouldn't go to movies on a first date. Preferably wouldn't do the following either:

pictures of how to have sex on my first date
Why does someone need a pictured tutorial for this.. and has someone actually made one??

st.petersburg cruise whores
(original: pietarin risteily huorat)
I've been on cruise to St. Petersburg and back and it was the shabbiest cruise with the worst food ever and I can't really recommend it to anyone :D Maybe it would've been better if it wasn't lacking the whores this person was looking for!


does eyelash glue get into your eye easily
(original: meneekö irtoripsi liima helposti silmään)
No. Or well, I use the best brand there is, which is DUO. No problems at all with that one. Highly recommended!

first to eat, last to eat
(original: syömäs eka, syömäs vika)
Does this have something to do with the song Salil eka salil vika by Musta Barbaari? :'D While the song is about being first at the gym and being the last one to leave, I have no idea what the keyword here is about, haha. Well, fits me better than the song, lol.

viivi boyfriend
Why, are you interested? ;D I'm not seeing anyone at the moment.

flashing boobs while bending over
(original: tissit vilahtaa kumartuessa)
How about wearing a less boobie-licious shirt? Nothing wrong with boobs tho, boobs are great.

good emo photoediting apps
(original: hyviä emo kuvanmuokkausohjelmia)
Hahahaha, is there actually specific editing softwares meant for emos? :D And do emo kids still exist?


That was my funniest, weirdest and most random keywords! :D This post was super fun to write. If you have a blog, let me know which is the most odd keyword someone has ended up to your blog with? It would also be fun to know how you have ended up in my blog the first time too!